Our need to belong
Many of us are feeling a pull to go deeper. To explore beyond the boundaries of who we show up as in everyday life. This longing cannot be filled with anything outside of us. No person, achievement or new pair of shoes can give this to us. But once we listen to and follow our soul, it can and does fill every part of our life; relationships, parenting, work and friendships. This is what gives us a sense of belonging.
Our soul's desire to guide us in life can be a painful miracle. It can bring up such overwhelming feelings of fear and self doubt, as we wonder can we really trust something within ourselves to guide us through life. Yet in the same breath, it can give us the peace and sense of belonging that we all crave to some degree.
When we open up and expose who we really are to ourselves and others, we are carried by this great power we possess. We can connect with those around us in a deeper way. We can begin to find our way home to who we really are.
Many of us are starved of real connection and belonging. Our cravings reflect this soul hunger that we often try to fill with chocolate, Netflix, social media scrolling, wine, worrying about our children, questioning our relationships - Anything but go within. Going within feels dangerous. What will come up? What if I can’t handle it? So we choose to numb out the calling to belong. We tell ourselves that we are alone in our struggles. That everyone else is winning in this game of life. That we’re the problem.
The beauty of this soul craving to belong is that it is here to guide us. Listen to your body when this longing shows up. Don’t tell yourself that there is no hope. That this is just the way life is nowadays. When we go within, we become connected to a great source of love and intelligence that is flowing through each one of us. Nobody is exempt from this source of connection that is flowing through us. Perhaps we have to dig a little into the grit of conditioning and self-doubt to get to it. But like a deep flowing well, we will reach this source. That is one thing that I am certain of. It is not likely that we’ll be struck with a lighting bolt of awakening. More likely we will begin to experience this sense of belonging gradually by taking time to be in our own company.
Here is what I find helps in finding a way to belong in everyday life.
Create a space. It can be anywhere. When you feel the longing rise up, go to the space you have created. Over time, your brain and soul will see this as your place to fall into your soul. Light a candle. Have a notebook to hand. Play music or don’t play music. Talk out loud or be silent. Whatever you find works, do that. When your intention is to connect with your soul, there is no wrong way.
Listen. Your soul may be shy at first. Don’t shine the blinding lights of expectation or pressure on it. Just sit and give it your attention without asking for anything in return. And then do it again the next day. And the next day.
This can seem so dull. So uneventful. So lacking in wow-factor. Don’t be fooled. Under the surface, there is a stirring as your soul calls you home to who you are. An awakening that you may not see just yet. Keep giving your self the gift of time with your soul. This is how we learn to hear our truth. To love who we are. This is how we meet our real self. By giving ourselves something as simple as time.
When we connect with our soul, we become connected to everything around us at a deeper level. Our yearning for unity is met. We find a sense of belonging that we can then intertwine into every area of our lives. This is living a Big Hearted life. This is where peace lies.